First Month
Your First Month of Group
Your first few gatherings lay the foundation for the relationships and growth ahead. This guide will help you welcome people, establish shared expectations, hear their stories, and begin meaningful conversations about following Jesus.
Move through these steps at a pace that fits your group. Sharing stories may take several gatherings, and that’s okay. Follow any timing provided for Sermon Discussion Questions or your current study, and reach out to Anna if you need help planning.
Jump to what you need:
Before Your First Gathering · Your First Gathering · Sharing Your Stories · Beginning Meaningful Discussion · Finding Your Rhythm
Before Your First Gathering
A warm welcome begins before anyone walks through the door. A little personal connection and clear communication can help people feel more comfortable showing up.
Connect with each person
Reach out personally to everyone who joins your group. Introduce yourself, express your excitement, and give them an opportunity to ask questions. If possible, grab coffee or make another personal connection before your first gathering.
Start your group conversation
Create a group text thread and include:
A warm welcome.
The date, time, and address of your first gathering.
Any helpful arrival details, such as parking or which entrance to use.
An invitation for everyone to introduce themselves so members can save each other’s contact information.
Here’s a message you can make your own:
“Hi everyone! It’s [your name], your T-Life Group Leader. I’m excited for us to get to know one another and grow in following Jesus together! Our first gathering is [day, date] at [time], at [address]. We’ll spend time connecting and talking about what to expect. Please reply with your name so everyone can save your number. Looking forward to seeing you!”
Prepare for a welcoming first gathering
Choose a comfortable place where everyone can sit and participate. Limit distractions, and consider simple refreshments if you’d like.
Review the T-Life Group Agreement and plan to talk through it together. Be ready to share a little about yourself, why you’re excited to lead, and what the group will be doing this trimester.
Your first gathering can be simple: help people feel welcomed, begin getting acquainted, and give them a clear picture of what’s ahead.
Need help getting ready? Reach out to Anna with questions about your group, sign-ups, or next steps.
Your First Gathering
Your first gathering is about helping people feel welcomed, begin connecting, and understand what to expect. Keep it simple, relational, and relaxed.
Welcome people and help them settle in
Greet each person as they arrive, introduce people to one another, and allow a little time for conversation before gathering everyone together. Around 15 minutes is a helpful starting point.
Once everyone is seated, begin with an easy question, such as: “What’s something you enjoy doing when you have free time?”
Introduce yourself and invite others to share
Share a little about yourself and what excites you about leading this group. Acknowledge that joining a room of people you don’t know can take courage.
Then invite each person to share:
Their name and a little about themselves.
What led them to join the group.
What they hope to experience through it.
Keep these introductions brief enough for everyone to participate. There will be more time to share stories in the gatherings ahead.
Explain what your group will look like
Give everyone a picture of what you’ll be doing together this trimester, including your sermon discussion plan or study, and the usual flow of a gathering.
Remind them of the purpose: growing in relationship with Jesus, connecting meaningfully in community, and impacting others for Jesus. Invite questions so people know what to expect.
Talk through the Group Agreement
Healthy community grows as people take responsibility for it together. Use the T-Life Group Agreement to discuss how your group will build trust, care for one another, participate, and protect unity.
Give people time to respond. You might ask:
“Which of these commitments stands out to you?”
“What would it look like for us to put this into practice?”
“Is there anything we need to clarify together?”
Confirm your meeting details and how members should communicate when they can’t attend. If questions about confidentiality or care come up that you’re unsure how to answer, follow up with Anna.
Close with prayer and a look ahead
Thank everyone for coming and pray for your group as you begin this season together.
Let them know that the next few gatherings will include time to share more of their stories. Explain that this helps you get to know one another and understand how to encourage and support each other.
After your gathering: Check in with anyone who couldn’t attend, follow up on questions, and let Anna know how it went. She’d love to hear!
Sharing Your Stories
Knowing someone’s story helps you understand and care for them. These conversations give your group a foundation for meaningful relationships and help you recognize where each person is in their journey with Jesus.
Set the tone by sharing first
As the leader, share your story first. Be honest and thoughtful about what you include, and model a length that leaves room for others.
Let everyone know they can share at a level they’re comfortable with. They don’t need a dramatic testimony or a polished presentation. Remind the group to listen with care and honor the commitments you discussed in the Group Agreement.
Give people a simple starting point
Share these prompts ahead of time so people have a chance to think:
Your background: Where did you grow up? What would you like us to know about your family, school, or work?
Significant relationships and experiences: Who or what has helped shape your life?
What you enjoy: What are your interests, hobbies, or hopes for the future?
Your spiritual journey: What has your experience with faith been like, and where are you in your relationship with Jesus today?
These are conversation starters. People can focus on the parts of their story they want the group to understand.
Make room to listen
Give each person time without rushing to offer advice or relate everything back to your own experience. Thank them for sharing, and ask gentle follow-up questions when helpful.
Depending on your group’s size, sharing stories may take several gatherings. Keep track of who still needs an opportunity, and leave time to pray together. If you’re following a study with a set schedule, reach out to Anna for help balancing the two.
Listen with a shepherd’s attention
As people share, consider:
What are they sharing about their relationship with Jesus?
What questions or next steps might they need encouragement with?
What experiences or current struggles would be helpful to follow up on personally?
What helps them feel comfortable participating?
Let what you learn guide your prayers and ongoing care. If someone is exploring faith or you’d like help talking with them about following Jesus, reach out to Anna.
Follow up with care
A simple message afterward can communicate that you listened: “Thank you for sharing your story. I’m grateful you’re part of this group. How can I be praying for you this week?”
If someone shares a significant struggle, connect personally and ask what support would be helpful. When their needs seem beyond what the group can offer, contact Anna for guidance on additional care.
You don’t have to resolve someone’s story. Keep getting to know them, caring for them, and pointing them toward Jesus.
Beginning Meaningful Discussion
As your group finishes sharing stories, begin moving into your sermon discussion questions or current study. Keep building relationships as you explore Scripture and consider what it means to follow Jesus in everyday life.
Prepare before you gather
Read the Scripture passage and review the study or discussion questions ahead of time. Think about what stands out to you and where the conversation could connect with your group’s lives.
You don’t need to cover every question. Choose the ones that will help people understand the passage, participate, and consider a meaningful next step.
Make room for your group to talk
Use the 80/20 principle as a guide: aim to guide or speak about 20 percent of the time, allowing group members to contribute the other 80 percent.
Ask open-ended questions, listen closely, and give people time to think. A little silence is okay—you don’t need to answer your own question immediately. If the silence goes on too long, simply ask members direct questions by name.
Helpful follow-up questions include:
“What stands out to you about that?”
“What do others think?”
“Can you tell us more about what you mean?”
Help people understand and apply Scripture
Guide your conversation through three simple steps:
Observation — What does the passage say?
Notice the people, events, words, and details in the text.
Interpretation — What does it mean?
Consider the context and what the author is communicating. Encourage people to look back at the passage as they discuss.
Application — How will we respond?
Explore how the passage connects with everyday life and what a faithful next step could look like.
Some members may be learning to read and discuss Scripture for the first time. Explain unfamiliar terms and welcome questions. When you don’t know an answer, be honest and follow up with help from your coach or Anna.
Give everyone an opportunity to participate
Notice whose voices you’re hearing and who may need more room.
If someone is dominating discussion or talking at length, gently redirect: “Thank you for sharing. I’d love to hear from someone who hasn’t had a chance yet.”
Invite quieter members without putting pressure on them: “Is there anything you’d like to add? It’s okay to pass.”
Help your group listen without interrupting, criticizing, or immediately offering advice.
Close with a next step and prayer
Generally, our sermon Discussion Questions have next steps questions, but if you’re doing an alternative study, at the end of our time together, invite people to consider: “What’s one thing you want to put into practice this week?”
Give them an opportunity to share, then pray together about what you’ve discussed and the needs in your group. Follow up during the week with encouragement and interest.
Finding Your Rhythm
By now, you’re beginning to learn your group’s personalities, build relationships, and find a flow for your gatherings. Some things may feel natural, while others still need attention. You don’t need to have everything figured out after one month.
Notice what’s working and what needs attention
Take a few minutes to reflect:
Are people feeling welcomed and getting to know one another?
Does everyone have an opportunity to participate?
Are conversations helping people connect Scripture with everyday life?
Is there someone who needs a personal check-in?
Are there expectations or practical details we need to revisit?
Choose one helpful next step. Small, intentional adjustments can help your group grow healthier over time.
Keep connecting between gatherings
Continue the Relational Ministry Action rhythms that help you know and care for your people:
Two contacts each week: Text or call group members to check in, encourage them, or follow up on something they shared.
One appointment each month: Connect with a group member or a small huddle for a more personal conversation.
One Round Up each month: Invite your group to connect through the life of Relevant, such as sitting together on Sunday, attending Encounter, or participating in Serve Day.
Encourage members to reach out to one another, too. Help care and connection become something the whole group shares.
Stay connected to leader communication
Make a regular habit of reading or watching the leader communication you receive. Along with discussion resources, you’ll find timely updates, practical equipping, and information your group needs.
The monthly 1–2–3 TLG Newsletter provides an equipping focus, upcoming dates or reminders, and helpful resources from the Leader Hub.
If you aren’t receiving leader communication, let Anna know so she can help you get connected.
Ask for support early
Stay connected with your coach, Network Lead, and reach out to Anna when you need help with logistics, group dynamics, or caring for someone.
You don’t have to wait until a concern becomes a major problem. Talking through a question early can help you respond with wisdom and confidence.
Keep growing as a shepherd
Return to the Leader HQ as new questions arise. Lead Your Group, Group Health, Care + Support, and Common Group Tensions offer guidance for the situations you’ll encounter along the way.
Thank you for investing in your people. Keep showing up, listening, and helping them take their next steps toward Jesus.